Monday Blues..

Haven't been updating my blog as frequent as I used to.

During the past few days...I cooped myself in the house.

I just want to spend more times with my family.

Mainly, because of some consecutive dreams that I had.

Bad dreams. Not nightmares.

They will become reality in times to come.

Not much time left. Time passes fast.

I know I have to face them.

But meanwhile, I wish I can escape from it.

Will I face the ordeal alone?

Just another administrative day...(Aww..boring!)

Finished my second paper at 12pm...Went home..Took a nap...
After that, sort out my school documents in the computer, mainly those projects, assignments, lecture notes...putting them into new folders..Dumping of useless files that I had accumulated when I downloaded funny videos or powerpoints from my friends..Regroup my music (mp3) folder...put them into my playlist...find lyrics for most songs...

Send an email to the school administrator asking them whether I can make a replacement for one of the module...since the one I'm suppose to take..is not offered in the next semester..And I need to graduate by next semester!!! Hopefully, the university will look into the matter and give me a reply as soon as possible..I need to do alot of planning for March..if I'm to start working..nothing has been confirmed yet..

Tomorrow..will start writing my resume..and shall send it to my lecturer, asking for internship..Hope he will accept me...If not, I still got my second option, to seek my friend, Ted for help...He is working in MICA...so somehow it's still related to communications industry..If not then work for non-profit organisations lor...but then..no income = eat grass..

Exam Stress...

1) Either no appetite to consume any form of foods..usually end up eating one or two buns..(when I was having my first paper earlier)
2) Or becomes a big eater..start cravings for all kinds of foods..I'm very hungry at the moment..

Edited: Had 2 egg pratas + mee goreng...
Back at home..had a small tug of ice cream for my dessert..
Hahaaa

Stepped down..

Finally for 2 weeks..the 'efficient organisation' did not press the red button..and the unit officially stepped down as on 21 Feb 2006...Haahaa. The next one will be in August..I guess we wouldn't be that lucky again..

XX Olympic Winter Games 2006 at Torino

This is my first time watching the Olympic Winter Games..the previous Games..I was not able to watch them for example in 2002...I was enlisted into the Army..so that means I missed the opportunity to watch it..Back in 1998...I guess being a student...I was busy with school stuffs everyday...having lectures and projects the whole day..I missed the chance again..Haahaa

Finally...now I was able to watch it for the past few days...because I have more free time with myself..school workload was over...except for the preparation of exams..

Think it was a great experience to watch it other than the usual Olympic (Summer) games which we see every four years..back in 2004...the next one will be 2008 at Beijing. The winter games give me exposure to some games I never see before..Personally..I like events like Curling, Snowboarding, and best of all..Figure Skating.

Think it really fantastic to watch how the guy or gal, or a couple performing their stances..Yesterday..was suppose to study..but I watched the Ice Dancing (from 2am to 5.30am) in which the couples are suppose to perform rumba, salsa, chacha, samba etc..Splendid for most of them..especially the top few...the coordination, timing, creativity, synchronised movement was awesome..Graceful for the gal...and full of strength for the guy..Of course, there are some who failed miserably because of their lack in techniques..unable to catch or hold their partner causing her to fall down..that leads to deduction in marks..

Oh..there is this Paralympic Winter Games which also be held at Torino..Don't know whether will there be any live broadcast of the Games..The Games will be from 10 till 19 of March..Hmm..If I'm working by that time..means that I will not be able to watch it.. =( And just for your information, the next Olympic Winter Games will be in Vancouver 2010...

One paper down...

Yesh..Finally one exam paper is down...one more to go..
Stayed up late till 2am to study for the paper..wake up at 5.30am get prepared..and go to the foodcourt nearby my school to do the last minute studying before my paper starts at 10am..

Because of this paper..my anxiety level has raised to such a high level that I vomitted 3 times in the day...I was feeling so nervous..my heartbeat was beating rapidly..Feeling so sick..For no reason, I started to have running nose..and serious coughing problem.Don't know why am I getting so tensed up for this paper..I never had this experience before..Haix..

Making thing worse..I just realised I sneezed out some blood clots from my nose...think it could be linked to my coughing problem. Argh..I can only say that my health has been in a terrible condition..since the beginning of the year till now..

Something about myself...

Finally got something to put an entry to..

For the past few days..life has been so monotonus..nothing for me to write about..except something terrible that has happened to one of our friend...Just hope that he will brace himself up in such situation..Deepest condolences to his love one..

Just wish that everyone will treasure their love ones and friends..because we really have no idea when things happen..

This is something about myself..
Check it out at :
http://kevan.org/johari?view=jefftham(the positive side of Jeffrey)

http://kevan.org/nohari?view=jefftham (the negative side of Jeffrey)

Please feel free to give some thoughts on what kind of person I am..Haahaa. Thanks!

MSN

Last time, I was never bothered with who have been continuing to put me under their contact list in the MSN..Today my brother upgrade my MSN 7.0 to 7.5...don't know for what shit..he did that..Makes me have to familiarise with those new settings again..As I was figuring out the new program, I came across this section that allows me to view "Who have added you to their contact list"...so I went to see lor..(did this thing exist in MSN 7.0?anyone knows?) Thinking it was a new feature from MSN 7.5 lah..to my amusement, quite a few persons had deleted me off their contact list..WOW..Thanks leh..8 people..Hahaa..

Name list?
1) One of them is this particular friend who accuse me of liar (please read earlier entry on that)..Didn't expect this friend to be so mean..Fine..!
2) My army friend...Erm..he often played pool with me..Don't understand why...Sigh..
3) A friend's friend...since I'm not much in contact with this friend, D..so I wouldn't be surprised if D's friend, F deletes me off...I'm just more than happy that D didn't delete me off..
4) - 8) are just some ordinary friends whom I done projects with...No idea..anyway we are not much in contacts...

I wouldn't be deleting them off my contact list...

Efficient organization

Yesh..this SAF damn efficient..
I'm still suppose to be doing alert manning this period..1 more week to go..
Early morning..check my email..the Mindef send another notification telling us that there will be another alert manning in August..for 2 weeks..Bloody Hell ! How come last time they never been so efficient..nowadays they can 'suka suka' issue anything they want...Bad morning..

Something's wrong with me..

First I was sick...terribly sick..with sore throat..fever...then came with rashes (mainly due to my greed for some seafood stuffs that my mum bought for our dinner a few days ago..its those prawn in cheese..or whatever, and my favourite soft shell crabs..I'm allergy to seafood..most of my friends know that..)

Next..was my back..the lower end..that's a sharp pain pressing on the left side of it since this afternoon..was wondering when did I sprain it or something..Never told my mum about this..in case she worries about it..will wait for a few more days..analyse the condition..

But I'm so afraid that when I wake up the next morning...my lower part of body wouldn't be able to move..Hahaha..weird feeling..

Sweet Valentine's

Happy Valentine's Day to All !!
May everyone blessed with lots of LOVES!!

Letter of apology to Noinoi

Sorry noinoi..
Make a mistake and causes you to make the trouble to contact M1 to verify the problem..
I'm really sorry..

As requested..I put the apology letter on the blog hor..You don't be angry ah..
Still owe you 2 treats..2 not 3 hor..and only pratas only..haahaa >.<>

Received a missed call while sleeping..

So I press redial on my phone (thinking it is the same person I usually dialed)

Ended up..calling Noinoi telling her that did you call me?She say no..(I didn't recognise the voice)

Receive the same missed call number again..

Redial the phone again..

I asked did you call me? Noinoi say no again..At the same time one sms came in..it was Noinoi's one..telling me that she checked her mobile that she didnt dialled my number. So I told her now even your message that I received is another person name..so weird..

(All the while...I thought I was talking to another person..not Noinoi)

Around 4+, received another sms from Noinoi..this time telling me she asked M1 to verify the problem..

I'm so fully awake that I dialled the Noinoi number and asked her why she knew about the problem I was facing because I thought it was a problem between me and the other person....Haaahaaa..in actual fact I was the one making the whole mistake..

Mentally sick..

Yesh..I was sick physically...woke up with a bad sore throat..think it was kind of throat infection..having problem even swallowing my saliva..its just painful..Fever...took a temperature of about 37.7...Gosh..I'm feeling lethargic..breaking out cold sweat..not able to concentrate..

Don't ask me to go see a doctor...Thanks...

I think I better be dead off...Stop being a hinder to the society, causing an eye sore to everyone..

That's why I feel 'mentally' sick too..so sick of my life..
How I wish I can end it earlier..
Want to find someone to talk to..but who can I find?my best friend?But I think he's quite busy..and I don't really wish to disturb him with my troubles..

Haix...

Feeling sick..

That happens whenever I ate things from Marina South..Because it's not cooked properly..it's barberqued..thats why I feeling very heaty...sore throat..soon it will be fever...

I need sleep..
I need plenty of water..
I need...to recover...otherwise I wouldn't have strength to study for my exams..its on the 18th..6 days left..and one on the 23rd..thats another 5 days after 1st paper..

Long time never update..

its been quite some time updating my blog..3 days..I never put any entries..

Friday (10th)
The whole morning was spent on doing my assignment...and hand up the work in the evening before meeting my army buddies for pool games..Not bad..just feel that I had slightly improved after listening to some advices from zhenhui..tried different approaches to a few games...It really makes a difference..

Saturday (11th)

Baby Brennan


As mentioned earlier in my previous entry, this day is going to be a busy one..
After much thoughts, decided to give the new-born baby, Brennan a cute toy rather an angbao because at least, he can play with it when he gets older or his parents can switch on the music and let him listen..Hehe. Brennan is so cute..Looks more like his mummy, Jasmine or rather his features will be more distinctive when he grows up...perhaps that will be a better comparison to his daddy or mummy..

The day was great..though didn't manage to see any of our classmates except for Rick, Grace and XiuXiu..I think except for Rick..XiuXiu and Grace..I haven't seen them since 'O' Level..that's like in 1997...omg..8 years already..we have grown so old..erm better word to use will be mature..HAhAha..

Time passes so fast...Grace is already married and now pregnant with a child..roughly into its 6th month..Looking forward to see her newborn baby too..Hehe. XiuXiu is working in NUH..having a stable job..that's good..Hope she'll find a boyfriend soon..Rick is gonna be an arts teacher in the nearby secondary school..Just glad that everyone is doing well...Hopefully..me too..

Left Jasmine/Ben house, at around 6.30pm to meet my group of army friends for dinner at marina south for steamboat buffet..rush down..and met with Benjamin who gives me a ride to the destination..Hehe. Out of the supposedly 24 platoon mates, only 14 managed to attend the dinner and 2 more friends for the KTV sessions. I will say it's still a success mainly because everyone tried to make this day available. Big Thanks to Weiliang for helping me to organizae this gathering...and Overall thanks to everyone who came for the gathering...Zhenhui, Shaowei, Junwei, Junren, Hongjun, Weiliang, Russell, Benjamin, Eddy, Lawrence, XiaoQiang, Honda, SingKwang, Lao Heng and our VIP, JianBin.

Day was great, talked and ate...Haahaa..I didn't eat much..because usually will get sick after eating M.S foods..don't know why..maybe food not cooked properly. The dinner ended with the free ice-cream and a 'spectacular' fireworks. Fireworks? You might think where do I get those fireworks or am I lying? Its real fireworks..but then I didn't plan it..it was actually part of the 'River Angbao' celebrations with their everyday fireworks for 15 days..And we get to see it so coincidently..just as we about to finish our dinner..Spectacular? Nope..its just very normal low budget fireworks..Oh..I guess at that point of time, we all have one common thought that came into our mind...Yesh..the NDP 2003 Fireworks Committee...we were involved in it..those days were tough..carrying kgs of sandbags...filthy...sweats...lots of complaints..Haaahaa But it was worth it when we got to see the fireworks (3 times) right above us...

The night is still young...we decided to go for KTV session..at the PartyWorld near Shenton way. Booked a VIP room from 11pm to 3am..to accommodate 16 people...Haahaa. I think we just looked like any bunch of NSFs...It was singing time for everyone..except Shaowei and XiaoQiang..who didn't manage to lose their 'virginity' at the end of the KTV..a quote used by Russell...He managed to break the 'virginity' of Honda, Weiliang and Benjamin..Haahaa. Fearsome!! Junwei and Lawrence are the better singers among us..One has such a strong voice and the other is able to imitate so well of Jay Chou..Russell is good too..except that he can't read Chinese well...Hahaa that sort of minus some points off..The rest including me..are just so-so ones...cannot reach high pitch..off-keys..can't read chinese well..no 'head voice', no emotional feeling...haahaa rubbish..A bit disappointd that JianBin didnt sing a song for us leh..Hope next time, he will sing..I think we guys really enjoyed ourselves alot yesterday..


Our KTV session (Top row:Lao Heng,Russell,Jeffrey,Shaowei,
Junwei,Zhenhui,JianBin,Lawrence,Weiliang;Bottom row:Eddy,
Honda,SingKwang,Junren,XiaoQiang,Benjamin and Hongjun)

Haix..Don't when will we have such a big gathering again..maybe in one week time, we'll meet again in uniforms..Haahaa..Am I right? *touch wood* If not..then we'll have to wait till July for our ICT..and after that followed with a big eating session like the previous time we had during our 1st ICT...Haahaa After we booked out..we went home, put down fieldpack..bathe and change..Out we go for gathering!

Working under ultimate stress level..

Till now..I haven't really touch on my report which is to be handed up on 10th(tomorrow..before 9pm)..Although I got all my research materials on my hand..but I just can't figure out how to start the introduction..body and conclusion are all assembled in my mind..So without the introduction, I wouldn't be able to write the other parts..

You might be thinking..there's less than 24 hours for me to work out the whole report..Will I be able to complete it? By the way...I need to write the report of 2000 words...so it can be a difficult task if you tend to have too many things to or too little things to write...Anyway, I just like to work in ultimate stress conditions...this is what I beginning to feel about myself...I took it as a challenge to myself...to meet deadlines in the shortest time given..I saw a difference in me..In the past, during poly days or early university days...I always tend to complete the assignments way before deadlines..and relax while others are still busy rushing the last bit of time to complete them..Now is the other way round..I guess if by this time, my classmates have not done anything..they will be paranoid already..Hahaa..but I'm not..cos I'm blogging at this time and going out for supper later with my friend..

Jeffrey's adopted philosophy "船到橋頭自然直﹐讓一切順其自然" =P

After this assignment...I'm free..except for preparation for the coming exams in mid-feb..that will be the period my stress level reaches it peak again..

Afterall...its still a bad news..

Remember I mentioned that the 2nd ICT was cancelled?
Oh what the ****! Mindef or the SAF cock up things again..as usual..what to expect?
First..they bring you good news..happy like ****
Next..they tell you its an amendment..change to a later date...
You thought you are on the path to Heaven..but the Devils grabbed your legs and pull you down to Hell !!

Thanks to Weiliang's instinct...He felt that something was amiss..Decided to check the MIW..To his horror..He received a new notification..By the way..this notification has not been send out to the masses yet..its suppose to send out on the 9th Feb to the personnel through SMSes..No wonder, I haven't receive any SMS today..But then, I already got the information before the others..SO, tomorrow late morning, there will be swears and cursings from my unit personnel...HAAHAA..What a joke..Spoilt my mood..

But looking at the bright side..wasn't it better? I mean this is the 2nd ICT..so roughly 8 more to go..Clear our ICTs earlier..so that when you are older..you don't need to go chiong sua liao..Another good point...gathering with your army friends..drinking beer and alcohol during Happy hours?Haahaa

i'm stubborn..

Just managed to finish my report, which needs to be hand up in the evening..But before that, I face some difficulties with this classmate of mine (we are doing the report together). Well, she said that I was making things difficult for her, when I change/edit the document...So I was trying to prove my agrument that what I had done was the right thing..and she insisted her point..(SO AM I!) Came to part of the conversation, when I was totally so angry, that I mentioned.."I'm been doing this kind of report (the same format) for the past 2 years lor, and I been getting good grades..Are you telling me the lecturers are blind to give me that kind of marks?? How the hell, I can make my way to Year 3...(okie..she's a Year 2 student). I think I made her stress up with my words..so I decided to give in...we compromise with each other..I made changes again (at this time..2am), cut down on the number of words.. to 3000 words..split the chapters into a few part..add in things here and there..

I don't wish to make a big fuss over it..I think I had done enough of it...If she wants to make any more changes..suit herself..I'm stubborn..or perhaps my ego have become so great, thinking that I'm a Year 3 student...I'm suppose to be more knowledgeable than those below me because the module is a Year 1's...I'm just very firm with my stand..I'm in no wrong!

Oh..by the way..a close friend told me that I was zhi zhuo (stubborn or persistent) few days ago...I was still wondering whether I am...Now..seems like the truth is out..

Maybe can ask Pearlyn..whether my point stands...is PEST Analysis an integral part of the SWOT Analysis? See you tomorrow in MSN...

2.54am..Just got her reply..she's finally okie with whatever shit I had done..

I can finally sleep liao..Didn't sleep well last night at my friend's house..I think I'm just not comfortable sleeping anywhere besides my own bed...

Today will be another busy day..going to rush for another assignment which is due on the 10th..which I haven't start yet..I like to work on my own time to meet deadlines..Haahaa

Good news !! Bad news...

Wow..early morning..around 11am..
Receive a sms from Mindef on my mobile phone..God knows what the Mindef are up to again..Abit parnoid..Because today..7th Feb..is our mobilisation (On standby) period..So scare it might activate us on this morning..Hahaa..So for two weeks..till 21st Feb..We are not suppose to step out of the country...Who cares..Haahaaa...this is the so-called bad news lah..because its most likely to burn our Sunday mornings..an usual practice the Mindef will do..

Anyway back to the SMS..When I reached home, I went online to check the message..Oh..before I managed to check..Dashun called me..telling me the good news! Yep YeAh!! We won't be having our 2nd ICT..aka Reservist this year..in June..That's really great..I mean its a high key this time round..so no ICT..means no outfields..no ration foods..Hehe. But I missed my mistress, my jeep..Aiyo..Cannot drive....Sian leh..= (

Notice something too..My army friends' MSN..all put 'ICT Cancelled loh!!' Hurrray!!

05/02/2006

Think 05/02 was one of the happiest day eversince the start of 2006..

I smiled and laughed a lot...not a usual scene my friends will see..

In a short distance across the road..I just feel that the rain is dancing around me, so amusing..Hehe..My hand just grabbed it..Don't know why..

It was a cold weather..but somehow I feel warmth inside....There's one 'big raindrop' that spattered on my face...Haahaa..

Sitting at the seat alone, my mind starts its processing unit again..A lot of things went through my mind..How I wish I can think less...and relax more often..Nobody knows what the future lies ahead...

Financial Crisis...

Think I'm going to spend less on Entertainment fees for this month or maybe inclusive the month of March..

• Cut down on KTVs sessions..
• Cut down on Pool games..
• Cut down on Chilling Sessions at Coffee Bean or any Cafe..
• Any other miscellaneous activities....(Oh..No more dinings at restaurants, buying of CDs, Shopping and MOVIES..!!!!!)

Yep cost-saving operation is on,
Otherwise, I'm gonna eat grass soon..unless someone is willing to be my sugarmommy..or sugardaddy..Haaahaaa. Any takers around?

Alot of plans will have to be delayed...Sighz..
Bless me...Please let me win the Million Dollar Toto..Hehe..
Okie..better not to be so greedy...small prize also not bad..Group 2 or 3 will be okie with me..

Two sided personalities..

I was so pissed off writing my entry just now...

But now, Gonna write some happy stuffs..So weird..maybe that's why I'm a Gemini...Split personality? Haahaa. Don't know what's wrong with me lately...

Anyway..what are the happy stuffs I putting down in this entry?

Haha, Just had a long chat with my army brother, JianBin or JB...Talked about him getting into a relationship...just recently attached..Congrats Brother! Somehow, it will be tough one for them, because it's going to be a long distance one..Since JB, is going back to Aussie for his studies...Ph.D. Can you guys believe? Professor Wang!! He asked me for some advices on how to maintain such LDR...Hmm...it just reminded me of The One in U.S..Not many people knows about that..Haahaha..He told me some stories between him and the gal, (I'm not going to say much..respect people privacy hor) Hope He and the gal will be able to stay together forever..all they need is lots of 2C's...Commitment and Communication during this period of time..Other C's..I guess they have achieved them (in case you don't know what I'm talking..please read the entry on 21st Jan)...since they know each other for quite a long period of time...Really looking forward to meet him for dinner on the 11th..Yeah!! Oh and with a bunch of platoon mates!! The last time we saw each other was like 6 mths ago...A big big gathering..Haahaa. JB joked that, "Hope that day, the 'Top' people wouldn't go activate us hor.." Of course, we know they wouldn't, who will activate on a Sat evening..Hehe..

I'm so used to organise his farewell dinners together with Weiliang. Everytime, he comes back from Aussie for holiday, and leaving Singapore for his studies, there will be a farewell dinner..Hope this time, it will be a success as always..

On the same day, 11th..Need to go to this long-time never contact secondary school friend,Jasmine..its been at least 3-4 years..When she was married, I wasn't able to attend her wedding dinner..Well, I'm in the army..no choice..This coming Sat, is her son's Brennan first month, gonna attend that, and also meet up with other my secondary school friends..Not really keeping in touch with them for quite some times..So, I looking forward to it too..Wondering what should I get for the little child..Anyone has any ideas? Or should i give a red packet..but how much?

Yeah..11th will be a busy day..running 2 places..Tiring?Maybe..but its definitely worth it..I just love my friends.. =)

Bad morning..

Early morning..was accused of being a liar from a friend..
I guess it's gonna spoilt my mood for the whole day..

Yesh, we did agree to go out together, few days back..
I suggested to go to another place, but then, we couldn't compromise..
Eventually, I decided not to go out with my friend....
Past few days, I tried to avoid my friend's MSN messages..
Till this morning, my friend message me again..so I replied with my reasons..
Oh..You said, "You just a liar.."
I hate being accused of the title, Liar...
I'm FUCKING pissed off..with you!
I think I merely broke off a promise with You..but I provided You with the reasons too..
You just don't wish to believe what I had said..thinking I'm just lying to You..
If I really lie to You..Do I get any benefits? You are old enough to think about it..
I really do not wish to do anything stupid, and crazy..again

Sometimes, I was wondering why Heaven is being cruel to me...
We had not been contacting each other for a few years...
Last year, August..You suddenly came back into my life...
Thought that, our friendship could still develop over the time...
Nevermind, I wouldn't talk to You...
Unless, You initiated it..and says SORRY to me..

None of my friends have ever used this words on me..
Even so, they say it in a joking manner..
A tone that I can feel..as not being mean to me..
Well, the way You said it, plus immediately 'Offline'...
Tells me that You are not joking...And is definitely RUDE.
Because You never give me a chance to further explain...

Was I wrong to break off a promise or an agreement?
Hey...No strings attached lor...
Come On, friends have also 'fly aeroplane' on me, provided me with all sorts of excuses and reasons..
But have I said, such mean words?

*Name is kept confidential..Anyway this friend don't read my blog..

No topic.. (Part 3)

Same author, same topic (Chronological of the No Topic - *bullshit*)..This time is Part 3..Making of movies or writing books also not that fast mannn..haahaa

Anyway, as i mentioned earlier in CNY Day1/2/3, I will be putting entries on some thoughts that occurred to me during those few days..Had done 2 earlier..and this is the 3rd one..Should be the last one..I guess..

Well, guess someone is really happily dating or in a relationship hor..Heehee. >.< Hope I didn't make a mistake hor. Anyway, that's a good thing, I mean, able to readily to accept someone who, I guess should be better than me, more suitable than me...aiya just everything above me lar..

If you are still reading my blog..Hope the two of you stay happy together..okie?Please hor, If you still regard me as a friend, call me out lar..MSN also don't talk..Not even a single SMS..Must I take the initiative to message you, just like CNY's Eve..Huh.. >.< Haahaa. Really glad to know you..Muacksss (kisses from a friend)

Every story will have a happy ending..where the prince and the princess will usually live happily everafter...So this Chronological of the No Topic, Part 3..means the story has come to an end..The author is tired already..The next book will not be released so soon..Maybe will..maybe not..Depends on the author's mood..his creativity *bullshit x 2*

P/S: Writing 3 consecutive entries today is tiring.....

A mistake I almost made..

*dcedoe at own fere aetmtpt* - Serykd is not giong to Jnuoir Cloglee...srory!


I hvae to amdit I amolst mdae a mtiaske drunig tihs new yaer...on the 3rd day.


I was raelly ecxietd in the bgeninnig,
But as the day approaches achppraoes,
I'm benginnig to feel noeuritc,
My wlil, my mnid and my haert,
Pelase be trtuhufl to yuosrlef,
Waht do you wnat atfer gteting the tinhg?
But will you rlelay get it?

Tohuhgts, and thtuoghs,
I raesailed seomhting,
I am pailyng with the tnihg in fries,
I do not wsih to be suduebd to 'taemiptonts',
I konw I will get tierrlby hrut etvenaluly,
I do not wnat to be a sniufl preosn,
I want to strat this new yaer arfseh.

Tihs tnihg sh'dolnut eixst aynorme.
The tihng is not the smae as yeesrtady,
Or soluhd I say mnay yeras bcak.
Since it deos not blenog to me,
I sahll not hpoe for it to cmoe back.
Yes I dcieedd to fere mseylfy,
And laeve the thing anloe.

CNY, a formality occasion..(Not really meant for my friends to read)

WARNING!! This entry is not supposed to be read...I say again!!

its been ages...roughly around 6 years...till now..I was never really looking forward to CNY..

CNY is just....
another holiday for most people to relax from work,
a chance to meet up with relatives whom they seldom seen,
a chance to indulge in all sort of junk foods..i mean yummy foods,
a chance to gamble to determine your 'luck' for the rest of the year..

To me, its just another formality occasion..its has been meaningless to me since 6 years ago..Years back..when this big family (Tham's family) still had their grandpa alive and healthy..everyone will gather at his house for CNY...very joyous one, the adults will be chit chating..kids will be playing those 'pop pop' (kind of small bombs that make loud noise when smacked on the floor), fireworks..I still remember I like to put those 'bombs' underneath the shoes..Hahaa..scare my relatives..I was just too playful..and also the making of the big BOMB..where I poured all the powders together into a tissue paper..and throw it down from the 10th floor..LOUD noise it got!! Hahaa..From grandpa's place, we all will proceed together to visit each relatives house...Our favourite hangout will be 4th aunt's...cos she always cooked fried noodles, which is exceptionally tasty with her self-made chilli sauce..and of course...gambling with my few cousins..Those were the days...memories are still so fresh in me...

Now..everything changes..Eversince my 2nd uncle fallen out with the family over a woman, deaths of my favourite 5th aunt and her eldest son..(she was my 'Godma', cos she took care of me since young, when both my parents are busy working, her eldest son was a role model I looked to), grandpa passed away subsequently...the whole Family was no longer the way it used to be...

Every CNY(this year too), they will be still gossiping about my 2nd uncle and the woman..don't they get sick of the topic? And worst..my 5th aunt's children have also fallen out with the Family..Why? Because of a silly reason, when my 5th aunt was on the deathbed..she asked her children not to tell the relatives..so being the obedient children..they wished to fulfil her last wishes..My relatives were so angry that the children didn't inform them, as they couldn't see my 5th aunt for the last time. During the funeral, they were just quarrelling..even till the last day of the wake..I was THERE! "Can't they give the person lying inside some peace?" That was what I was thinking..Was the children wrong to fulfil their mother's last wishes? Or was it wrong for them not to inform the relatives? Which is more important? I couldn't even decide..if the same thing apply to me....yesh i cried when i'm writing this portion..I missed them definitely. More importantly, I missed the times the Family had together...

You see..that's how the Family broke off like that...I can never understand what the older generation people were thinking..Or maybe I'm still too young to understand...It's just too complicated..I'm so tired of facing my relatives..even though its just a day or few hours..They caused the break up of the Family...I'm so envy whenever my friends got this large family, where their family ties are so close...That's always this saying "Every family has its own problems".Sighz...What's my problem huh??Why am I writing all these?I guess this blog has become a place for me to put in all my unhappiness...I'm not able to tell anyone how I feel..but through the blog..I just wish to place my feeling down here..instead of always bottling up in m heart..Sometimes, I feel so suffocated..now..I'm feel much better to tell a story that happened so many years ago.

This entry was not really meant for my friends to read..but if you have read till this far...I guess you are too kpo already..haha. This entry is supposed to be a diary..of my inner feelings..Nevermind..What's been done..cannot be undone..*Important*Please continue to read the last paragraph..

I think as times go by...CNY will be totally meaningless to me..or maybe not...when all my friends are getting married...I will go over to their places to pai nian instead..so please remember to invite me hor..otherwise I'll be lonely during CNY...
Remember to give me angbaos too..No..i think same generation..don't give angbaos..so sad..

CNY Day 1/2/3

Finally, I'm back to put in my entry for CNY..
So did you guys enjoy yourself during these 3 days?Haahaa..

This year, was my turn to go with my parents to 'pai nian'...You might find it weird..why I say it was my turn..cos last year, my brother went with my parents..I did not go..Both of us have agreed that we will alternate every year..Hehe. Don't ask me why we need to alternate..maybe because we are not as enthusiastic as we were before when we were younger, and always looking forward to every CNY..now CNY is just a formality occasion to us..one of us will just be there to show his appearance to the relatives..if we don't go..daddy will be picking up a big fuss then..saying that it's disrespect to elders..blahblah..So, suck thumb lah..go loh, collect angbaos on behalf of his other brother..Hahaha

Went to few relatives houses on the first day, receive few angbaos (can be counted with 2 hands..hahaa) Saw my nephews and nieces have already grown so tall..(I haven't seen them for 1 year loh..) But then, we didn't talk much lah..only asking about their studies, minor things...Luckily, my relatives never asked the 'million dollar' question...Haha. OH..and my cousins..(all the 4 guys are older than me by at least 7 - 13 years) they never seems to aged!!They look as if they are still in their early twenties..boyish looking..I guess that's part our family genes..(Any gals want to go after them? Only 2 are offered..Hahaa)

Second day, went to jiemin's and charmaine's house. Jiemin's one was an unexpected one..cos she needs us to wait for some time..so we (junyan, eric and me) decided to go up loh..haahaa. After she was done, we proceed to charmaine's place..was greeted by her hubby's doggie..FiBi..so friendly..very active..and she likes guys alot..haahaa..Kissed me..on my face..Lolx. We had some pizzas, watched Initial D..at the same time playing BlackJack..Luck was abit on the down side..but got once..get 2 blackjacks in a row..Haha..Overall..still lose..4 bucks..Tonight, we going to Eric's place..for another round...why? Because they still want to win back the $200 they lost, during last CNY!! This time, I will go and chop the seat infront of the 'Da Bo Gong'..cos that's my lucky seat..Haaahaaa


At Charmain's house: Songhai,Eric,Junyan,Charmaine,Alison(Top row); Jeff,Benny,Jiemin(Front row)

Third day...was more like relatives coming over to my house..so always need crawl out of my bedroom..show face..entertain them..haahaa. (Hmm..I thought Day 3...wasn't suppose to go pa nian one leh...cos 'chu san' sounds like erm...'funeral processing' ah..) Evening time, met up with Zhenhui, Eddy and Hongjun for dinner and game of pool. Long time never play pool, skills abit rusty..haha.

Still got alot to write leh...alot of thoughts just within 3 days...but then it will come under different topic....stay tuned.. =)

Feeling - Happy