Curiosity kills the Cat..
Indeed, curiosity does kills the cat (aka 'xiaomao') seriously. I urge ppl not to be too curious about anything around them, because when you find out the truth or the fact (when you don't really wish things are the way they supposed to be), you will be dealt with the harsh and battered realities. Come on, I mean everyone likes to hear good news, things that are pleasant, all positive and encouraging words. That's self-deceiving.
This entry is supposed to be written yesterday night..but then, I wasn't in a good mood to pen it down. The words keep repeating in my mind..and they actually form visual pictures. Every scene seems so real. I didn't sleep much in the night, and I know I tasted 'salt water' that flows from my eyes.
Neither does that means I'm in a good mood writing it now. I just feel that's a need for me to write down my feelings, not for anyone to see, but for me to look back at it.
As a matter of fact, this post should be the sequel to the entry I made on 22 June "What a big mistake!"
Late at night, I don't know where I got this STUPID idea (yaya..stupid again..these few days, my brain and mind is soooo not working functionly properly, my eyes are 'blinded', my heartbeats tried to race at 140km/hr). I decided to browse through certain websites, typing in some 'key words' into the search engine. Amazingly, there are some results. Wouldn't it be better in the first place..if no results are shown? So that, I will be spare the agony of sleepless night, and vivid images going through my mind. Anyway, Geminian are not easily satisfied creatures, they will tend to find ways to get the desirable answers until they are exhausted.
Back to the topic, one of the results, seems like the answer that I'm looking for..it matches all the information that I had in mind..Excitedly, I clicked on the link. Looking at the whole webpage, one particular detail was not what I'm hoping to see..at that instance, a feeling of loss occupies my mind. I read every single other details. No doubt..This is the answer I NEED, but not what I WANT. Sorrowfulness embraced my heart, as I contine to read and visualise..I wish I can do something about it, yet I do not know how to go about doing it..
That's it! I told myself again..First I gave myself a death sentence (no time limit). Now, because of my desire to seek an answer (curiosity), I'm being placed on gallows, with the rope around my neck (haven't die yet). Just one more stupid thing I do, the platform opens up, the sandbags pull down me down...and I will officially be declared 'dead'. But being the cat (cat has nine lives), I will revive and move on to another phase of life...I don't think I have so many lives left..the remaining ones...will be particularly 'precious' to me.
Some friends have been asking me what was troubling me..but I couldn't tell you guys..its just too complicated for me to tell even some of my closest friends. Maybe there's only one person I can talk to...Should I approach?
How I wish TIME will travel back, so that I will not be known to the truth, and keep myself alive for the time being..its hard..My heart always tend to control my mind more often...end up hurting myself. I think I like mental SM..A weirdo..
Anyone looking forward to the sequel of this entry?? I don't...Unless its a happy ending.
This entry is supposed to be written yesterday night..but then, I wasn't in a good mood to pen it down. The words keep repeating in my mind..and they actually form visual pictures. Every scene seems so real. I didn't sleep much in the night, and I know I tasted 'salt water' that flows from my eyes.
Neither does that means I'm in a good mood writing it now. I just feel that's a need for me to write down my feelings, not for anyone to see, but for me to look back at it.
As a matter of fact, this post should be the sequel to the entry I made on 22 June "What a big mistake!"
Late at night, I don't know where I got this STUPID idea (yaya..stupid again..these few days, my brain and mind is soooo not working functionly properly, my eyes are 'blinded', my heartbeats tried to race at 140km/hr). I decided to browse through certain websites, typing in some 'key words' into the search engine. Amazingly, there are some results. Wouldn't it be better in the first place..if no results are shown? So that, I will be spare the agony of sleepless night, and vivid images going through my mind. Anyway, Geminian are not easily satisfied creatures, they will tend to find ways to get the desirable answers until they are exhausted.
Back to the topic, one of the results, seems like the answer that I'm looking for..it matches all the information that I had in mind..Excitedly, I clicked on the link. Looking at the whole webpage, one particular detail was not what I'm hoping to see..at that instance, a feeling of loss occupies my mind. I read every single other details. No doubt..This is the answer I NEED, but not what I WANT. Sorrowfulness embraced my heart, as I contine to read and visualise..I wish I can do something about it, yet I do not know how to go about doing it..
That's it! I told myself again..First I gave myself a death sentence (no time limit). Now, because of my desire to seek an answer (curiosity), I'm being placed on gallows, with the rope around my neck (haven't die yet). Just one more stupid thing I do, the platform opens up, the sandbags pull down me down...and I will officially be declared 'dead'. But being the cat (cat has nine lives), I will revive and move on to another phase of life...I don't think I have so many lives left..the remaining ones...will be particularly 'precious' to me.
Some friends have been asking me what was troubling me..but I couldn't tell you guys..its just too complicated for me to tell even some of my closest friends. Maybe there's only one person I can talk to...Should I approach?
How I wish TIME will travel back, so that I will not be known to the truth, and keep myself alive for the time being..its hard..My heart always tend to control my mind more often...end up hurting myself. I think I like mental SM..A weirdo..
Anyone looking forward to the sequel of this entry?? I don't...Unless its a happy ending.
posted by J.T.SkyRed at 9:22:00 PM
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